


opposites on the color wheel

by tinybluewitch (madandimpossible)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Gentle Kissing, ITS ABOUT THE YEARNING, Jester Lavorre-centric, Let them kiss, Making Out, Mutual Pining, One True Pairing, POV Jester Lavorre, Pining Jester Lavorre, SOULMATE AU YESSS, Soulmates, Tagging the M9 cuz they are HERE even if its not a big thing, is this a self indulgent kiss fic maybe!! maybe so!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25682701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madandimpossible/pseuds/tinybluewitch
Summary: The Soulmate’s touch. The phenomenon could not be explained by alchemists or magicians.  Over time, it was just accepted. When your soulmate touched you, your skin would briefly react and then the mark would fade.Jester touches Caleb and realizes he's her soulmate. But, he doesn't know because he didn't see it happen and now Jester has to deal with all these complicated feelings....and like...what happens if you're someone's soulmate and they don't know it? What happens when you're soulmates with someone you JUST met? How does that even work!!!The fairy tales she used to read made it all sound so simple.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 27
Kudos: 154





	opposites on the color wheel

“Tell it again, Mama!” Jester said, eager and fresh-faced at eight years old, her quilt bunched between her small blue hands.

Marion sighed, her expression tired, but fond, and she recounted the story of meeting Jester’s father. How he had held her hand, so delicately, and pressed a kiss to her knuckles and they both watched – in awe – as Marion’s crimson skin briefly turned purple where his fingers were wrapped around hers. The _Soulmate’s_ touch. The phenomenon could not be explained by alchemists or magicians. 

Over time, it was just accepted. When your soulmate touched you, your skin would briefly react and then the mark would fade. Jester’s eyes lit up as her mother told the story once more. It was all so romantic.

“Now, it is time for bed, my heart.” Marion said, smoothing Jester’s hair away from her face.

“Mama?” She nestled into her pillows, “What if you don’t have a soulmate, though?”

Her mother paused at this question, clearly weighing the words, trying to find a way tell an intelligent and perceptive eight-year-old how the world outside the Chateau worked.

“This world is very big. I like to believe everyone has one.” She said, with a slight quirk to her lips, “And even if you don’t find them, you can still be happy. Just as I am happy now, here, with you.”

She leaned down and pressed her lips to Jester’s head.

Jester’s dreams were filled with rolling hills filled with flowers, bright skies, and snow-capped mountains – like the one’s she’s read in her stories.

X

Caleb’s eyes go all yellow-white and glowy and honestly – it looks pretty _cool_. Not as cool as some of the stuff she can do. But, still pretty cool.

“Can he feel it if we touch him?” Jester asked before leaning over and poking Caleb’s forehead. She had done it without thinking and without preamble. Jester had always been generous with touch, always willing to give hugs and kisses to her Mama and those who were precious to her. She’d grown up, hidden away, the little Sapphire, and so she really, _really_ wasn’t thinking about anything when she poked his forehead. It was just a touch. Just teasing.

Her lips parted in surprise.

“Ow. Don’t do that please. I’m trying to concentrate.” Caleb said, unaware to the smudge of blue on his forehead where Jester had _touched_ him. Jester stared at the mark. Then looked to her hands, quickly, to ensure it wasn’t paint – but no, no, it **_wasn’t_** paint which meant – which meant—Oh. Balls.

She watched as the mark slowly faded away. No one else seemed to notice that it was there.

This stinky wizard was her soulmate? She tilted her head. That couldn’t be right. No. It must’ve just been a trick of the light or something. Right! Right. That made way more sense. She settled behind Caleb (because looking at his dirty, scruffy face with faintly glowing eyes was getting unnerving and it had nothing to do with the weird fluttering feeling in her chest) and began to braid his hair.

“I feel that.” He said after a moment.

“I know!” Jester replied, keeping her voice light and cheery. She was not thinking about the mark on his forehead. She was not thinking about it. She was thinking about his hair and focusing on making a _beautiful_ braid! She was not noticing the softness of his hair, which was surprising, even if it was a little greasy – too. It was still very fine. And pretty. Especially in the sunlight.

“…and it feels good.” Caleb said quietly.

Jester beamed even though he couldn’t see her.

X

The next time Jester touched him – there was too much blood to even notice if anything changed. The red seeped through her fingers and she gasped, calling upon the Traveler, as the magic crackled and the wounds began to close.

As she looked at Caleb’s blood staining her blue hands, she couldn’t help but think of how those two colors create purple. And how her Mama’s hand turned purple when she touched her dad’s hand. Jester squeezed her eyes closed to stop the train of thoughts and pushed another surge of energy through her fingertips. Caleb jolted upright to consciousness with a wild look in his eyes.

She offered him a smile.

“Let’s get moving!” Nott screamed, waving her crossbow in the air, “Before we become Knoll Snacks!”

X

Jester brushed the hair from Caleb’s face and wiped the dirt from it, “Well, you look sparkling clean! You look very dashing!”

Her heart froze inside her chest. The anticipation rolling through her stomach. What if it marked him? What if colors appear? What if he sees? What if it wasn’t a fluke? The questions barrage inside her mind and Jester’s throat went tight. What if her hand gets marked? What if – what if – what if –

There is nothing. No lingering shades of blue, no purple, no…well. Just big-fat-nothing. Jester clamped down on the strange, but familiar feeling of disappointment. Why should it matter anyway? It’s not like she wants Caleb as a soulmate! Yeah, no. No way! He’s…

Jester bit her lip and looked away from him. The emotions inside her chest are too, too full. She feared she might drown in them. She needed to focus. They have a mission to complete. There’s more to do than stand here and try to work through whatever these _feelings_ are. Maybe she could find a bookstore or something and they’d have a book on soulmates, and someone would be able to tell her. Traveler, she wished she could talk to her Mama. Maybe she’d know. She talked to all sorts of people! Does the mark only show up once? Does it show up only when you’re in love? Is she in love with Caleb?

That thought made her pause. She barely knows him. How could she be in love with him? But isn’t that how the _stories_ go? You meet your soulmate and it’s like BOOM! You are in love forever and everything is perfect.

 _That’s not how it happened for Mama._ Her mind supplied for her, reminding her, and Jester forced her lips into a smile. _Mama found her soulmate and he vanished…_

X

Jester waited until Beau was asleep, her pencil poised above her sketchbook – “Hey, Traveler?”

The room was warm and quiet. Her heart hammering loudly inside her chest. She didn’t know if she should talk to the Traveler about this. It seemed _silly_. But, like, if anyone knew about soulmates and stuff, it would be her God, right? Jester’s fingers tightened around her pencil.

There’s a familiar movement in the air and his green cloak appeared beside her, half-face covered by his hood, that ever-mischievous twist to his lips, “Hello, Jester.”

“I just have like a small question.” Jester said, eyes following the movement of her pencil as she continued her doodle of Beau punching a gelatinous cube and sending all the squishy, slimy bits everywhere. “So, like, you know about soulmates, right? How when you meet yours like it’s supposed to be super romantic and magical and your skin has a mark or whatever – that’s how it happened with Mama – and so well – a while ago…” Jester can feel the nervous fluttering inside her stomach and WHY is she nervous? It’s just the Traveler. And this is just Caleb! Surly, but funny, and a little sad and haunted but still _kind_ Caleb.

“I poked Caleb in the forehead, and I saw the mark. The Soulmates Touch or whatever they call it and--” Jester let out a huff of air, “Like I don’t know if I want him to be my soulmate? I don’t know if I’m _his_ soulmate! It hasn’t happened again so…like…could I be his soulmate, but he’s not mine? Or does it just happen the once and I have to tell him it happened? I mean – we are friends. I think. We are starting to be friends. I – I don’t want to make it _weird_. And I was thinking that maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was just like something reflecting off something or some paint on my hand but…”

She gave a quick glance to the Traveler who was listening, intently, with a slight tilt to his head.

Her shoulders sagged, “I just don’t know what to do.”

“Jester.” The Traveler waited until she looked up from her sketchbook, “As I understand it, a soulmate is someone who understands you. You do not have to be with them romantically if you do not want to. It is best to let these things develop on their own.”

She swallowed, “I don’t know if Caleb likes me very much.”

“Follow your heart, dear one. It’s never led you astray.” The Traveler said, his smile softening, “and besides…there is always magic and charms I could teach you.”

Jester did not like the idea of using magic to get Caleb to like her. Especially not now when she wasn’t even sure of her own feelings. After all, she still wasn’t confident that it wasn’t a fluke of some kind. Or that Caleb might be her soulmate, but she _wasn’t_ his. There was still so much she didn’t know about him. She knew he liked his cat, and magic and spells, and that Nott loved him very much. She knew that there was this – this – cloud of sadness that sometimes eclipsed over him. She treasured the moments when that cloud went away, and the sun broke through.

She nodded, her head still spinning with thoughts and her heart still twisting with feelings. “Thank you, Traveler.”

X

It started with a burned spell book. Jester had seen the hunger, the eagerness in Caleb’s eyes. He did like magic. She _knew_ that. Maybe she could help. Maybe she could make him smile. Oh, she would love to see him smile. A real, _big_ one. He had given her passing ones, just quirks of his lips, and it only motivated her further. She thought Caleb would look _especially_ beautiful when he smiled.

She sidled up next to him, "I can try doing the Mending cantrip on it? Would that help?"

His eyebrows raised, “Would you be ever so kind? I would be very grateful.”

Her heart did a somersault inside her chest. She wiggled her fingers over the burnt sections, the pleasant tingle of magic coursing through her body as she held her symbol of the Traveler. She watched with satisfaction, a big smile on her face, as the burnt sections restored. She heard Caleb gasp beside her.

Jester’s brows pinched as she noticed that although the pages were mended – none of the script came forward. The pages were blank, the ink cutting off where the burned sections had been. A little bud of disappointment caught inside her chest.

Caleb placed his hand on top of Jester’s, “Thank you very much.” She looked down at his bandaged hands, partially blackened from the soot of his spells, and she could very faintly feel the pinpricks of heat from his exposed fingertips. Her heart did another full summersault as Caleb drew his hand away and her skin – her _blue_ skin –her skin! Oh, holy shitballs. Jester stared at the _very_ obvious blotch of orangish-red on the back of her hand.

Caleb made a strangled noise at the back of his throat. Beau, who was standing nearby, “Hey, at least you can make notes—What the fuck!”

“What?” Nott peaked her head up, “Jester!”

Jester brought her hand to her chest, covering it with the other one, “What?!” There’s a passing, wild moment where her eyes dart to Caleb, but he’s turned his face away from her and she can see his ears are burning pink, and in a moment of desperation because this is _hers_. This is meant to be _her_ magical moment. She, selfishly, doesn’t want her friends to suddenly pip in with their opinions about it. Not when her own feelings are so conflicted and confused still. And the Traveler said that she still had a choice, even if the mark appeared, she always had a choice.

There’s a swift nonverbal incantation as she casts Disguise Self, using it to make her hands appear paint-spattered when they are, in fact, not. “It’s just paint!” She exclaimed, holding her hands up for the group. There’s a smear of orange paint on the back of her hand, and some purple on her fingertips, and another smudge of pink on her left wrist.

Beau narrowed her eyes, looking unconvinced, and Nott just blinked – “Oh, when did you paint?”

“I’m like always painting, you guys!” Jester said with a quick, bright laugh, “Everywhere we go, I’m like hiding dicks and poops everywhere! You just gotta be perceptive enough to _see_ them.”

“Right.” Beau crossed her arms, then shrugged.

Caleb had his back to the group, his hands waving in the air as he cast Identify on the objects they found, “Don’t you all want to know what this sword does?”

Jester let out a quiet exhale as the groups attention successfully diverted. The back of her hand tingling.

X

Jester ran her fingers through her hair. Caleb _touched_ her. She examined the back of her hand once more, twisting her wrist back and forth, watching the shadows from the campfire reflect off the jewelry on her fingers. Caleb was her soulmate. For _real_. It wasn’t just a trick of the light, or mistake, or anything. It was real. And it wasn’t like she was his soulmate and she wasn’t his – clearly the two marks must mean it’s mutual? Jester didn’t know if that’s how it worked. Not really. She should have asked more questions to her Mama and she really didn’t feel like asking the Traveler again.

So, Jester Lavorre had a soulmate. The confirmation made her feel all tingly and warm again. And nervous.

Beau came back from tending to the horses, “So, we gonna talk about what happened back there?”

Jester dropped her hand, tucking it under her skirt, “Huh?”

“C’mon, Jessie. I saw.” Beau flopped down next to Jester, leaning her back against the tree and lacing her fingers behind her head, “We don’t _have_ to talk about it if you don’t want to. But Caleb’s been quieter than normal and so have _you_.”

“I’ve known for a while.” Jester blurted out, unable to stop herself. Beau’s eyebrows raised, her shoulders tight, - “What?!”

“Since the beginning!” Her heart hammered inside her chest, “I touched him, and I saw the mark and I just – I was – I dunno. I was scared! We just met! And I thought if anyone was going to be my soulmate it was going to be _Fjord_. Not this stinky wizard with a magic cat. I just thought it was a fluke and it didn’t happen again, so I guessed that it must’ve been wrong and then I just—we started traveling together and he’s not so grumpy anymore, you know?”

Beau gave a short nod in agreement.

“And I’m still confused about it. I don’t know what it means or what I _want_ it to mean. I thought that when you find a soulmate then everything just works out perfectly and you fall in love instantly but – but I mean – I _like_ Caleb. I think he’s funny, and sweet, and smart. I don’t know how he feels about me or if he even wants a soulmate, like, what if –what if he doesn’t want to be with me? In _that_ way? You know? Or what if – what if he loves someone else already? Ugh.” Jester dropped her forehead to rest it against her knees. “And I just feel…I mean…I like him. But do I like him because he’s my soulmate? Or just because he’s Caleb? Or can it be both?”

“Well,” Beau shifted, staring up at the star-speckled night sky, “You could just try talking to him.”

Jester bit her lip.

“Wow, Beau, you make it sound so easy!” She teased, poking her friend’s shoulder.

X

It took her a day and a half to work up the courage. It’s not like she’s _nervous_. It’s just that her heart has been doing these funny things inside her chest ever since That Moment. And she couldn’t help but glance at Caleb while they’re traveling and wonder if his thoughts mirrored her own. Was he scared? Did he want her to be his soulmate? What did all of this mean!? Did he have a soulmate before? Could someone have _two_?

Jester intentionally joined Caleb on second watch. She settled beside him, watching but not really paying attention to the surrounding forest.

“Hey, so, um, Caleb?”

“Ja?” He glanced up from his spell book. He was…kind of handsome in the low-ember light of their dying fire. When did Caleb get handsome? Jester twisted her fingers inside her lap and then took the plunge. It was now or never.

“So, like, I know you saw what happened to my hand when you touched it that one time and I just wanted you to know that – well – you know that that is, right? It only happens when two people are soulmates which is this like magical, really cool connection that two people have and I talked to the Traveler about it and –“ She took a deep breath, “And he said that, you know, like this could be whatever _we_ wanted it to be. It doesn’t mean we have to like get _married_ -“She made a face, sticking her tongue out, even though deep down she’d really like to be married, “Or anything like that! I just really wanted to talk to you about it because I’ve been thinking. Oh. Wait. The other thing was that I’ve known for a while because remember when we met? Okay, yeah. You were doing your Frumpkin vision? Yeah, you did that, and I poked you--”

“I remember that.”

“Uh-huh. Right. So, I poked your forehead and I saw the mark, but I thought like – oh, no way, that can’t be right. We just met! But, clearly, it was right because you touched me and—" Jester held up her hand even though the mark was gone, “And it was _pretty_ obvious that your touch did something too. So, like, do you like me? Do you like me a little bit, even? Or…do you maybe…not like me?”

She watched as Caleb’s face crumbled, softness etched across his brow, his voice feather-light yet rich with emotion, “Jester.”

She swallowed past the sudden lodge of tightness in her throat. This was it. He didn’t like her. That was OK! That was okay, though! Because soulmates didn’t have to mean forever or be perfect or…or…whatever! They could be friends and always be there for each other, right? That’s what friends were for. She pulled her gaze away from his face and instead watched the smoldering coals of their fire and tried to force herself to think about _anything_ else. Unicorns, big fields of flowers with giant lollipops, making a big statue for the traveler made of cotton candy- no, wait, that would melt in the rain. Something else. Something different. Anything! Anything! Don’t think about the stinging pain inside your chest. Don’t think about the tightness of your throat. Don’t think about the rejection. _Little Sapphire hidden away._ No. No. _You can always love someone else. It doesn’t have to be your soulmate._

Caleb’s voice was soft as he spoke again, “I like you very much.”

“W-what?” She turned to him, eyes wide, “You dooooo?” Her tone light and teasing, lilting as she said the words. She bit her lip as she watched his expression go flat and guarded. That was the wrong thing to say. No. No! She was messing this up. She didn’t want to mess this up. _Let me in._ She wanted to say, _It’s okay. I’m here. I want to know you. We’re supposed to understand each other!_

He shut his eyes for a moment, “Ja.” He closed his spell book, holding his page with one finger.

Jester leaned closer. She needed to salvage this moment. She needed to – to – to do something! Jester went with the first thing on her lips, “I like you too, Caleb.”

“You should not.” He said, eyes hard and serious, “You – Jester – I am not. I am not good. You – you do not – you said it yourself…about being…” Caleb struggled valiantly with the words and Jester pressed her lips together, willing herself to be patient, to let him collect his thoughts. Even if those thoughts made her heart ache. She watched the fractured emotions play across his face. He didn’t hide them. There was anger (not _at_ her), sadness, disappointment and then disbelief.

“I am not…” He sighed, “Jester, you deserve so much _more_ than what I can give you.”

Her tail twitched in agitation. Who was he to tell her what she deserved? Or who was worthy of her? Seemed like a dumb concept in her opinion. She was _perfectly_ capable of making her own decisions.

“I’m not asking for the moon, _Cayleb_.” She said.

His shoulders seemed to drop ever-so-slightly, “What are you asking, then?”

“I want to know you.” Jester said quietly, “I want to understand you and – “She paused, remembering the Traveler’s words, “I want you to understand me. I want to be seen.”

He opened his mouth. Then shut it. His jaw tense as he mulled it over. Oh, if she could just peek inside that constantly moving mind of his. She wondered what she’d find.

“Okay.”

Jester brightened, a smile spreading easily across her face and dimpling her cheeks, “Really!?”

Caleb nodded, “In due time though, Ja? Not everything at once.” He looked at the sleeping companions of their group, “and…I suppose if we are going to keep traveling together then we will get to know each other regardless.”

She nodded and euphoria rushed through her veins and it felt like _magic_.

X

The only way she can think to describe it is like this:

It’s like wading in the water and swimming and swimming until your muscles hurt and you look back and _‘wow, the shore is so far!’_

It’s like getting lost in the lines and shapes of her sketchbook, following the pencil swirls and smudges of graphite, and then pulling the sketchbook away from your nose and breathing, ‘ _wow, I made that?’_

It’s like performing a new spell successfully for the first time. It’s anticipation inside your stomach, and butterflies, and blood flooding your ears and this building pressure that just pops – and you think, _‘wow! I’m pretty strong, huh?’_

That is how falling in love feels. None of her books ever described it like that. Usually, they described it like a lightning bolt. A big flash or huge romantic gesture that sent the characters declaring their love loudly and proudly.

But, after spending the past several months with him – fighting alongside him, joking with him, learning about him, and learning about herself, Jester discovered she was somewhere in the middle of loving him before she ever noticed the _beginning_.

Jester wrapped her robe around her body and carefully padded down the oaken floors to Caleb’s room. She could be like _so_ sneaky when she wanted to.

Her knuckles tapped against the door.

“Come in.” Surprise is all over his face when she slipped into the room – “Oh, I thought…” He swallowed, hovering by his desk, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his hair disheveled, “is everything alright? It is rather late for you to be awake, Ja? Is – Are you okay?”

Jester pushed away from the door and came to perch on the edge of his desk, her grin wide, even though her heart was _definitely_ going to explode. She peered down at the parchment strewn about, all the arcane symbols drawn and glyphs connecting them. Another warm, shimmery feeling ghosted across her skin. Caleb and his magic. Magic that gave her a way to get home, magic that protected the Nein, magic that transformed…

“What’re you doing?” She asked instead of bringing up the real reason why she was here. She couldn’t just come out and say it, could she? _Hi, Caleb! I have realized that I am in love with you. I know we haven’t talked about it since that One Time when we realized we were soulmates. It’s different now, though. I think I’d love you even if we **weren’t** soulmates, you know? I think I’d just choose you as my soulmate. I bet I could do that! I could ask the Traveler. Whatever – actually. It doesn’t matter what I would’ve done differently. Because we are soulmates and I do love you and both these things are true! _

She blinked, realizing he was talking about the spell he was working on and had caught on that she _wasn’t_ listening, “Jester, are you sure you’re okay? Do you need me to get Caduceus?”

“No!” She threw her hands up, face flushing purple, “I just wanted to hang out with you.”

Caleb ducked his chin down, a lovely shade of pink touching his cheekbones, “It is late.”

“It is.” She agreed with a slow nod. She worried her lower lip between her teeth, peering up at him, and fluttering her eyelashes in an attempt to look _flirty_. She’s seen her Mama do it a hundred times. It’s not like it’s hard.

Caleb’s brow furrowed, “Is there something in your eye?”

Jester gaped at him, “What! No! Caleb!” She slapped her forehead, “I am trying to be _alluring_!”

His chuckle was low and dark and made her body shiver in response.

“You are always alluring.” She felt the ghost of a touch on her cheek and her eyes popped open just in time to catch him, the back of his knuckles moving away from her. She quickly reached up and snatched his wrist – pulling his hand back to her face. The unique campfire smell lingering on his fingers. His eyes widened slightly and then softened, lips parting, cheeks flushed as Jester released his hand and he gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.

He looked so… _surprised_. As if touching her was some blessing that he felt unworthy to receive. Jester let out a soft, contented sigh. Her body felt wound up with tension and yet completely at ease. How was that even possible? Was that just what love was like? Constantly being in a state of a Paradox?

“Jester…”

Oh. _Oh_. He said her name as if it were meant to be written on tapestries and hung in gilded temples. He said her name as if it was a whisper to the stars, a promise to the cosmos, a prayer to the Gods. She wanted to curl up on his lap, she wanted to nestle her face on his chest, and wake up to the sound of him saying her name. His fingertips trailed along her chin and jaw and then he cupped her face in his hand.

“ _Cayleb_.” She replied with a lilt to her voice, her head tilting and nuzzling into his palm. Emboldened and maybe a little drunk on the affection he was giving so freely, she pressed her lips to the fleshy mound on his hand near his wrist. She heard him sharply inhale and she glanced out of the corner of her eyes to see that same look of wonder plastered across his face.

He pulled his hand away and Jester bit back the whine in her throat.

Then she realized why he had pulled away.

“Oh.”

On Caleb’s palm was a bright blue mark where Jester’s lips had pressed against the skin.

He turned his palm, expression studious, “Is that going to happen every time? We have touched before, Ja? It does not…It hasn’t happened every time. Then again, it is not very frequent, and we have touched in Polymorph forms and perhaps that does not translate? I wonder why it happened _this_ time?” He looked around the room at the various tomes and novels he had tucked away in the shelves, “I should—”

“Caleb!” Jester grabbed both his hands, “It’s late, right? You can save the research for the morning.” She looked down, her tail flicking between her legs, and her heartbeat a steady but rapid drumbeat inside her chest. He squeezed her hands in response.

“Ja. You are right. It can wait.”

“And maybe…” She looked up from the floorboards and Caleb’s dark wool socks. “Maybe it just appeared again because—because I’ve realized my feelings have changed.” She wet her lips, “Caleb, I – you listen to me, and you support me, and you’ve been _such_ a good friend. Through all of this. Even when it was scary. You – you _see_ me.”

She saw herself as a child then, drawing herself having grand adventures, dancing around her room, making sure that her Mama was happy and laughing so that she wouldn’t have that sad forlorn look in her eyes. She saw herself as Jester, the Ceric, saving her friends, making them laugh, playing pranks, and smashing enemies with her Spiritual Weapon. She saw herself hiding her tears because she was _Jester_. She brought joy. She wasn’t meant to cry. But then being with the Mighty Nein, showed her that it was okay to feel sad. That her worth didn’t come from making others happy. Caleb had been instrumental in helping her to see that truth.

“I don’t feel like I have to hide with you.” She continued on, “You’re still scrawny, but you’re strong in other ways. And you’re like the smartest wizard I know. And all of this is just to say…I really, really like you, Caleb.” She sucked in a breath, mentally preparing for the possibility of rejection. Caleb was just staring at her with his jaw unhinged and his eyes indecipherable. She could see the tenderness there. It warmed the color of his eyes. He always looked _fond_ when he looked at her. But that didn’t mean love. Not necessarily.

“I…I love you, Caleb. Technically.” She finished softly. Then, panic set in, and she thought maybe she had read the moment wrong? What if he just saw her as a friend? She jumped in for damage control, “I get it if you like don’t feel the same way, like I totally get that – I know we talked about it before but like soulmates doesn’t mean you have to love me—I totally—mmphf-“

Her tangent was cut off by the abrupt pressure of Caleb’s mouth on hers. She scrambled, letting go of his hands and instead gripping the front of his shirt like a lifeline. She had never been kissed before. The kiss with Fjord did _not_ count and since she was the authority on which-kisses-counted when it came to her own mouth, thank you very much, she was going to make that call and say that Caleb – her soulmate- was her first real, proper kiss.

His mouth was lush and firm against hers and she let out a soft, quiet pleased sound as she felt him _press_ into her – and okay, he was still a little scrawny and bony but there was the solid heat of his thigh between her legs, and now that she was holding his shoulders, she felt like she could really appreciate just the _warmth_ of him. Her butt dug into the edge of the desk and Jester’s tail lazily wrapped around his waist, content to keep him as close as possible. She felt his fingertips scrape along her scalp as he wound his hands into her hair, clutching at the back of her skull, and gently _pulling_ —oh.

Her lips parted and she felt his tongue slide across her lips. She slid her hands from his shoulders to the back of his neck and pulled the hair tie free that kept the ruddy, waves of his hair confined. Once free, she plunged her hands into his hair and reveled at the softness, and in that same moment, his tongue delved into her mouth and Jester let out a squeak of surprise.

Caleb pulled back and she chased him, face tilted upwards, lips capturing his once more. They were pressed chest to chest, and she could feel the reverberations of his hum. His fingertips touched the base of one of her horns and she gasped, wiggling, “It’s sensitive.” She breathed against his lips, loathe to let him create any distance between their bodies.

He leaned back, incredulity on his flushed face, his eyes nearly black and engulfed by his pupils as he tracked the curl of her horn, “Ah, that’s interesting.”

She waggled his eyebrows at him, “Do you have any _sensitive_ spots, Caleb?”

His eyes lowered to her mouth and then he smiled – oh – Oh _fuck_. Jester’s heart swelled to twice it’s size inside her chest. She liked when he smiled. She liked the way it crinkled the corners of his eyes, and the pronounced the dimple on his chin, and mostly she just liked his smile because it was _his_.

“You’re going to keep kissing me, right?” She said with a slight tug to his hair and watched with a skipping heartbeat as Caleb’s eyelashes fluttered.

“Jester…” He leaned forward and she eagerly tilted her face up, ready to resume kissing – because it was pretty great. Kissing Caleb was _fun_. His forehead touched hers and she could feel the heat pooling inside her belly and flushing her skin. She carded her fingers through his hair simply because she _could_. Caleb’s fingers drifted away from her hair (and horns) and came to cradle her face, his thumbs caressing her cheekbones in a slow back-and-forth touch.

“Jester Lavorre.” It was _overwhelming_ – everything she saw on his face – in that moment. The longing, the happiness, the desire (that was new!), and the slight nervousness. She felt as if she might tremble out of her skin with just the way he was looking at her.

His face shifted and he pressed a tender kiss to her forehead, “I…” his voice wavered slightly.

He placed another kiss – this time – between her brows, “have…”

A kiss to her temple, his voice rich as the sweet honey they once found, “loved…”

A kiss to her nose and she scrunched it in response, “…you.”

Caleb drew away, looking into her eyes, and Jester was surprised to discover that his were misty, “for _so_ long.” 

A breathy giggle was caught somewhere inside her throat.

She was just – so _happy_. She surged forward, lips clashing against his and her nose squishing into his, but it didn’t matter if it was a little awkward and a little clumsy. It didn’t _matter_!!! Because she loved him. She loved him and he loved her. And no matter how scary things got, she’d always have him. Her friend. Her _soulmate_.

She felt and heard him laugh against their joined mouths and Jester – unable to stop herself (and why would she?!) laughed with him. They stumbled, a mess of blue limbs and a mop of wild orange hair, knocking over his chair in their ungraceful attempt to fall into Caleb’s bed. They laid, side by side, their legs still tangled together (not that Jester minded. She’d very much to always be close to him) and took a moment to breathe.

“I love you!” She declared, holding his face between her hands, and affectionately squishing his cheeks, “I love you a lot! Like. A LOT. _CAYLEB_!” She nuzzled her nose to his. He deserved to hear it. Every single day. Even if sometimes he didn’t believe it himself.

Maybe especially then.

“And you…” A flicker of doubt clouded over his features, “You want – ah – this? Us? I mean.”

She stared at him, “Uh. _Duh_.”

“It will not – “ He pursed his lips, “It will not always be easy, meine Perle.”

Jester shrugged in response.

“I know that.” She scooted closer, touching her nose to his, and carefully looping a curl of his reddish hair around her finger. She liked the way the colors looked in the candlelight. She liked how it seemed to have a _touch_ of gold. “But we’ve faced a lot of crazy stuff together, right?”

Caleb nodded.

“Then I think we will be okay!” She grinned and after a beat – she watched with wonder, and delight, and so, so much love bursting inside her chest as Caleb timidly gave her another one of those rare, beautiful smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in the span of like three hours with NO proof-reading, or editing, or Beta and its 12AM and i gotta GO TO SLEEP. but. xooxo love u guys. 
> 
> Fun fact: Jester first touches Caleb in Episode 3, Caleb first touches her in Episode 16. I’m gonna CRY. I know technically Jester wears gloves but listen….listen…I do what I want.....its a fanfic.


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